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'A 
THE WEDDING DAY 

A COMEDY, 
IJV TTVO MTS 




^.?6^.. 



AS PERFORMED AT THE" 



PHILADELPHIA THEATRE 



BY MRS. INCH BALD. 



NEW-YORK: 

KPBIISHED BY DATID tONGWORTH, 

At the Dramatic Repository^ 
Shakspeare- Gallery, 

/flf?.— 1819, 



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PROLOGUE, 

BY T. VAUGHAN, ESQ, 

THE title g-iven to our play- 
Is whimsical and odd, 3ou'll say, 

Because announced — the Wedding Day. 

But. know you not, my friends above, [to the galleries^ 

*Tis what you one and all approve ? 

For when you squeeze each other's hand. 

And find your wishes at a stand, 

You press the Wedding Day, and cry. 

Come, let's to church, my dear, and try 

WUo loves the truest — you or I. 

Then, as *tis known a day of bliss. 

Pray let it not prove Iiere amiss ; 

For tho* elop'd — I know not how — 

From next door neighboura. — ;just belovi' — 

And hither come to make lier bow — 

Like other trips of gallant love, 

Constant to both you'll find her prove. 

Or who is right, or wlio is wronpf. 

With me to state does not belong-; 

But only to proclaim the banns. 

And leave to-yoii the applauding hands ; 

Nor hope tolind one c:itic here. 

Win dare forbid our wedding cheer ; 

But give tlieir usual fi-iendly boon, 

And let's enjoy the honej-vioon. 

To laugh is ^ilt our author means 

In what she pourtrays in her scenes. 

And aims, in all she dares to write. 

To make her Wtdding Day — a merry night. 



DRAMATIS PERSONi^, 



Lord Rakeland 
Sir Adam Contest 
Mr. Millden 
Mr. Contest 
John 
Thomas • 



Lady Autumn 
Lady Contest 
Mrs. Haraford 
Hannah 
Several servantg 

ScEHE-London— TiMB^Onc Day. 



VHXLABtLPUIJk- 

Mr. Barret 
• Warren 
» Jlathwell 
, Anderson 
. Durang 
, King 

Mrs. Bhxton 

Wood 
, Simpson 

Jacktpn 




THEl WEDDING DAY. / 



ACT I. 

SCENE I — an apartment at lord Rakeland's. 

enter a servant^ followed by lorh rake land. 

Lord R. At home ? to be sure I am — how could 
you make any doubts about it ? ^exit servant"] Deny 
me to my old acquaintance, and favouritfe friend, 
Tom Contest ? 

enter MR. CONTEST. 

My dear Contest, I congratulate us both that your 
travels are completed, and that you are come to taste, 
for the remainder of your life, the joys of your own 
country. 

Mr. C. Whether to taste joy or sorrow I am yet 
in doubt ; for I am uncertain in what manner I shall 
be received by my father. 

Z,ord R. Have not you seen him yet ? 

Mr. C. No : — nor dare I till I know in what hu- 
mour he is. 

Lord R. In a good one you may depend upon it ; 
for he is very lately married. 

Mr. C. To my utter concern ! I heard some time 
ago, indeed, that it was his design to marry again ; but 
as he has never condescended to make me acquaint- 
ed with it himself, I know nothing farther respecting 
the marriage than what public report has thrown ia 

B 



6 WEDDING [Inclibald 

my way. Pray, can you tel Ime who my new mo- 
ther is ? ^ 

Lord R. I am told she is very young, extremelv 
lively, and prodigiously beautiful. I am told, too» 
that she has been confined in the country, dressed 
and treated like a child, till her present age of eigh- 
teen, in order to preserve the appearance of youth in 
her mother. 

Mr. C. But who is her mother ? Of what family 
is she ^ 

Lord R. That I don't know — and I suppose your 
father did not consider of what family she was, but 
merely what family she was likely to bring him. 

Mr. C. Yes, I have no doubt but he married on 
purpose to disinherit me, for having written to him, 
*' that I had fixed my affections upon a widow of small 
fortune, but one who was so perfectly to my wishes, 
that even his commands could not force me to forsake 
her." 
Lord R. And were you in earnest ? 
Mr. C. I thought I was then ; but at present I am 
more humble. I have implored his pardon for these 
iiasty expressions, and now only presume by suppli- 
cation to obtain his approbation of my choice. 
Lord R. Is she a foreigner ^ 
Mr C. No ; an Englishwoman — We met at Flo- 
rence — paned at Venice — and she arrived in London 
just four days before me. 

Lord R. And when will you introduce me to her ? 
Mr. C. Are you as much a man of gallantry as 
ever ? If you are, you shall first promise me not to 
make love to her. 

Lord R. As to that, my dear friend, yon know I 
never make a promise when I think there is the least 
probability of my breaking it. 

Mr. C. Then positively you shall not see my choice 
till I am secure of her. But I can tell you what 1*11 
do — I'll introduce you to my young mother-in-law, it 
you like. 



Act I] DAY. 7 

Lord R, My dear friend, that will do quite as 
well — nay, I don't know if it won't do better. Come, 
let's go directly. 

Mr. C. Hold ! not till I hive obtained my father's 
leave : — for, after offending him so highly as not to 
hear from him these six months, I thought it neces- 
sary to send a letter to him as soon as I arrived this 
morning, to beg his permission to wait upon him. And 
here, I suppose, is his answer. 

enter a servant.^ and gives a letter to Mr. Contest. 

Ser. Your servant enquired for you, sir, and left 
this. ^ [exit 

Mr. C. An invitation to go to his house immediate- 
ly, (/le reads the remainder of the letter, and 
then expressing surfirize) — Why my father tells 
me he was only married this very morning ! I heard 
he was married a week ago ! 

Lord R. And so did I — and so did half the town. 
His marriage has even been in the newspapers these 
three days. 

Mr. C. Ay, these things are always announced be- 
fore they take place : and I most sincerely wish it had 
been delayed still longer. 

Lord JR. I do not — for I long to have a kiss of the 
bride. 

Mr*. C. Pshaw ! my lord : as it is the wedding day, 
I cannot think of taking you now ; it may be impro- 
per. 

Lord R. Not at all, not at all. A wedding day is a 
public day ; and sir Adam knows upon what familiar 
terms you and I are. Indeed, my dear friend, my go- 
ing will be considered but as neighbourly. I can take 
no denial — I must go. 

Air. C. Well, if it must be so, come then, [goings 
sto/is'] Notwithstanding the cause I have for rejoicing 
at tnis kind invitation from my father, still I feel em- 
barrassed at the thoughts of appearing before hitn, in 



'8 WEDDING [Inchbald 

the presence of his young wife ; for I have no doubt 
but she'll take a dislike to me. 

Lord R. And if she should, I have no doubt but 
she'll take a liking to me. So come away, and be in 
spirits. [exeunt 

SCENE II — an afiartment at sir Adam Contest's. 

enter sir adam, drest in white clothes like a bride- 
groom. 

Sir A. Nothing is so provoking as to be in a situa- 
tion where one is expected to be merry — it is like be- 
ing asked in company *' to tell a good story, and to be 
entertaining ;" and then you are sure to be duller than 
ever you were in your life. Now, notwithstanding 
this is my wedding day, I am in such a blessed humour 
that I should like to make every person's life in this 
house a burthen to them. But I won't {struggling ivith 
himself) — No, I won't. — What a combat is mine !, To 
feel a perpetual tendency to every vice, and to pos- 
sess no one laudable quality, but that of a determina- 
tion to overcome all my temptations. I am strongly 
impelled to violent anger, and yet I have the resolu- 
tion to be a calm, peaceable man— I am inclined to 
suspicion, yet I conquer it, and will place confidence 
in others — I am disposed to malice, yet I constantly 

get the better of it — 1 am addicted to love, yet I 

No, hold ! — there I must stop — that is a failing which 
always did get the better of me. Behold an instance 
of it. 

enter lady contest slowly and pensively^ drest 
like a bride. 

Sir. A. {aside) — Now I will be in a good humour, 
in spite of all my doubts and fears. 
Lady C Did you send for me, sir Adam ? 
Sir A. Yes, my dear ; your guardian is just stept 



Act I] DAY. 9 

home, to bring his wife to dine with us ; and I wished 
to have a few minutes conversation with you. Sit 
down, {they sit) I observed, lady Contest, (and it 
gave me some uneasiness,) that at church this morn- 
ing, while the ceremony was performing, you looked 
very pale. You have not yet wholly regained your 
colour : and, instead of your usual cheerful counte- 
nance and air, I perceive a pensive, dejected — Come, 
look cheerful, {very sharfily) — Why don't you look 
cheerful ? {checking himself^ and softening his voice) 
— Consider, every one should be happy upon their 
wedding day, for it is a day that seldom comes above 
once in a person's life. 

Lady C, But with you^ sir Adam, it has come twice. 

Sir A. Very true — it has — and my jflrst was a day 
indeed! I shall never forget it! My wife was as 
young as you are now — 

Lady C. And you were younger than you are now. 

Sir A. {starts — then aside) — No, I won't be angry, 
{to her) — She was beautiful too — nay more, she was 
good ; she possessed every quality — But this is not a 
proper topic on the present occasion; and so, my dear, 
let us change the subject. 

Lady C. Pray, sir Adam, is it true that your son 
is come to town ? 

Sir A. It is ; and I expect him here every mo- 
inent. 

Lady C. And have you invited no other company 
all day ? 

Sir A. Your, guardian and his wife, Mr. and Mrs. 
Ploughman, you know, will be here ; And what other 
company would you have } 

Lady C. In the country we had always fiddles and 
dancing at every wedding , and I declare I have been 
merrier at other people's weddings, than I think I am 
likely to be at my own. 

Sir A. If you loved me, lady Contest, you would 
be merry in my company alone. Do you love me ? 
My first wife loved me dearly. 
B 2 



10 WEDDING [Inchbald 

Lady C. And so do I love you dearly— jusfe the same 
as I would love my father, if he were alive. 

Sir J. {aside.) Now could 1 lay her at my feet for 
that sentence. But I won't — I won't, {struggling 
with himself) Answer roe this — would you change 
husbands with any one of your acquaintance ? 

Lady C. What signifies now my answering such a 
question as that, when I am sure not one of my ac- 
quaintance would change with me ? 

Sir A. What makes you think so? {violent ly)-^-^ 
{softeniJig) — Your equipage ^\\\ be by far the most 
splendid of any lady's you will visit. I have made 
good my promise in respect to your jewels too ; and 
i hope you like them ? 

Lady C. Like them ! to be sure ! — Oh, my dear 
sir Adam, they even make me like you. 

Sir A. A very poor proof of your love, if you can 
give me no other. 

Lady C. But I'll give you fifty others. 

Sir A. {anxiously) Name them. 

Lady C. First — I will always be obedient to you. 

Sir A. That's well. 

Lady C. Second — I will never be angry with you, 
if you should go out and stay for a month — nay, for a 
year — or for as long as ever you like. 

Sir A. {aside^ and struggling with his passion) 
Sure I was not born to commit murder ! 1 had better 
go out of the room. 

Lady C. {humming a tune) " And old Robin 
Gray was kind to me." 

Sir A. {"ising in agitation) Oh, my first wife ! my 
first wife! what a treasure was she ! But my treasure 
is gone ! {sighing) 

Lady C. Not all your money, I hope. Sir Adam ; 
for my guardian told me you had a great deal. 

Sir A. And did you marry me for that? What 
makes you blush ? Come, confess to me—for there 
was always a sincerity in your nature which charmed 



ActI} DAY. 11 

me beyond your beauty. It was that sincerity, and 
that alone, which captivated me. 

I^ady C Then I am surprised you did not marry 
your chaplain's widow, good old Mrs. Brown ! 

Sir J. Why so ? 

Lady C. Because I have heard you say " there 
was not so sincere a woman on the face of the e;\rth." 

Sir A, {aside) And egad I almost wish I had r.ar- 
ried her. By what I have now said, Lady Cf>n'^est, 
I meant to let you know, that in compunou v/ith 
virtues, I have no esteem for a youthful or a beautiful 
face. 

Lady C. Oh dear ! how you and I differ ! for I 
here declare, I do love a beautiful youthful face, bet- 
ter than I love any thing in the whole world. 

Sir A (in a half smothered rage) Leuve the room 
■—leave the room instantly, {after a violent strug- 
gle.) No ; come back — come back, my dear — {ten- 
derly) — {aside) I'll be in a good humour presently 

— but not just yet Yes — I ivill get the better of it 

— I won't use her ill — I have sworn at the altar not 
to use her ill, and I will keep my vow. {he sits downy 
affecting fierfect composure, and after a /ijufft) — 
Pray, Lady Contest, pray, have not you heard from 
your mother yet ? 

Lady C. Not a line, nor a word. 

Sir A. It is wonderful that she s'^ould not send us 
a very proper address! There is uo doubt bui ihat 
every letter we have sent to her since she his been 
sent abroad, has miscarried. lia\V''^'er, it wiU be 
great joy and pride to her, when she hears of your 
marriage. 

Lady C. Yes — for she always said 1 was not born 
to make h\s fortune. 

Sir A. Which prediction 1 have annulled. And 
after all — come hi her — come hither — {takes her 
kindly by ihe haici) .;nd alter all, I do not reptnt that 
I have ; for although I cannot say that you possess all 



12 WEDDING [Inchbald 

those qualifications which my first wife did, yet you 
behave very well, considering your age. 

Lady C. And I am sure so do you, considering 
yours. 

Sir ji. All my resolution is gone, and I can keep 
my temper no longer, {aside) Go into your own 
chamber immediately, {he takes her by the hand 
and puts her off) I'll — I'll — I'll — {threatening as if 
going to follonv her,, then stops short) No, 1*11 go 
another way. (as he is going off at the opfiosite side, 
enter a servant) 

Ser, My young master and another gentleman. 

enter mr. contest and lord rakeland. 

Mr. C. {to sir Jdam) 1 kneel, sir, for your par- 
don and your blessing 

Sir ji. You have behaved very ill ; but as you ap- 
pear sensible o\ it, I forgive, and am glad to see you. 
But 1 expect that your future conduct shall give 
proof ot your repentance. My lord Rakeland, 1 beg 
pardon for introducing this subject before you ; but 
you are t.o; wholly unacquainted with it, I suppose? 

Lord R. Mr. Contest has partly informed me. 
{aside lo Air. Contest) — ask for your mother. 

Mr. C. I sincerely congratulate you on your nup- 
tials, sir, and 1 hope lady Contest is well. 

Sir .//. (going to the side of the scene) Desire lady 
Contest to walk this way. 

i.ord R. 1 sincerely congratulate you, too, sir 
Adam. 

Sit A. Thank yon, ray lord, thank you. {e^ter 
lady Contest — sir Adam takes her by the [hand and 
presents Mr. Contest to her) My dear, this is my 
t,on — and this, Tom, is your mother-in-law. 

Lady C. Dear sir Adam, {half laughing) I was 
never so surprised in my life ! Always when you 
spoke of your son you called Him Tom, and Tommy, 
and I expected to see a little boy. 

Sir A. And have yoth^ny objection to his being a 



man 



Act I] DAY. ^ IS 

Lady C. Oh no, I think I like him the better, {to 
Mr. Contest) Sir, I am glad to see you. 

Mr. C. I give your ladyship joy. (salutes her 
hand) 

Lady C. I shall be very fond of him, sir Adam — I 
shall like him as well as if he was my own. 

Sir .4. (aside) Now am I in a rage, lest seeing 
my son a man, she should be more powerfully re- 
minded that I am old ; and I long to turn him out of 
doors. But I won't — no — I'll be the kinder to him for 
this very suspicion. Come, Tom, let me shake hands 
with you — we have not shaken hands a great while ; 
and let this be a sign of the full renewal of my pater- 
nal affection. 

Lord R. Sir Adam, you have not introduced me 
to lady Contest. 

Lady C. Is this another son ? 

Sir A. What ! could you be fond of him too? 

Lady C. Yes, I could. 

Sir A, And like him as well as if he were your own? 

Lady C. Yes, I could. 

Sir A. But he is not my son. 

Lady C. I can't help thinking he is. {looking sted- 
fastly at him) 

Sir A. I tell you he is not. 

Lady C. Nay, nay, you are joking — I am sure 
he is. 

Sir A. {raising his voice) I tell you, no. 

Lady C. Why he is very like you. {she goes ufi to 
lord Rakeland, and looks in his face) No, he is not 
so like when you are close. I beg ten thousand par- 
dons, sir, you are not at all like sir Adam. 

Sir A. < (aside) Zounds! now I am jealous — ffnd I 
am afraid my propensity will get the belter of me. 

But no, it shan't — No, it shall not. My lord, I 

oeg your pardon, but I want half an hour's private 
conversation with my sou; you will excuse us? 

Lord R. Certainly, sir Adam — I beg you will 
make no stranger of me. 



U WEDDING [Inchbald 

Sir J. (faking Mr. Contest by the hand) Come, 
Tom — {aside) There, now, I have left them alone ; 
and 1 think this is triumphing over my jealousy 
pretty well. Well don«^ Sir Adam, well done, (exit 
with Mr. Contest^ Sir jidam smiling ivith self-afi- 
fduuse at the victory he has gained) 

Lord R. My dear lady Contest, though I acknow- 
ledge 1 have not the happiness to be your son, yet» 
permit me to bt g a blessing on my knees — *Tis this 
— tell me when and where I shall have the happi- 
ness of seeing you again ? 

Lady C. Dear sir, without any compliment, the 
happinevB will be done to me. 

Lord B. Enchanting woman ! appoint the time. 

Ladij C. ril ask Sir Adam. 

Lord H No — without his being present. 

Lady C. I don't know if I shaVt like that full as 
well. 

Luord R. Appoint a lime, then ; just to play a game 
at ciibb^ge. 

Lady C. Or what do you think of " Beggar my 
Nei;,hbourt'" — would not that do as well ? 

Lord R. Perfectly as well. The very thing. 

Lady C. But you must lake care how you play; 
for \x is a game vou may lose a great deal of money 

Lord R. But sir Adam must not know of it. 

enter sir adam, and s/ieaks aside. 

Sir A. Resolutions come and go 1 wish I could 

have kept mine, and staid away a little longer, (affect- 
ing good humour) What, my lord, here btill i* hold- 
ing conversation with this giddy woman? 

Lord R. (affecting coldness) I assure you, sir 
Adam, I am very well pleased with lady Contest's 
conversation. 

Lady C. And I am sure, my lord, I am very much 
pleased with yours. 



Act I] DAY. 15 

Lord R. We have been talking about a game at 
cards. « 

Lady C. But you said sir Adam was not to be of 
the party. 

Lord R. Yes, sir Adam— but not Mr. Contest. 

Lady C. No, indeed, you said sir Adam. 

Lord R. Oh no. 

Lady C. {eagerly,) Yes — because, don't you re- 
member I s^id — and you made answer — 

Lord R. I don*t remember any thing — 

Lady C. What ! don't you remember kneeling for 
my blessing ? 

Sir J. How ! What i 

Lord R. Sir Adam, it would be a breach of good 
manners were I to contradict lady Contest a second 
time ; therefore I acknowledge that she is right— and 
that I have been in the wrong. 

[exit bowing- loitk great respect 

Lady C. (to sir Adam afiart^and Indling his sleeve) 
Won't you ask him to dinner i 

Sir A. Ask him to dinner ! What a difference be- 
tween you and my first wife ! — Would she have vvish- 
ed me to ask him to dinner ? would she have sufr:?red 
a man to kneel — 

Lady C. I did not suffer him to kneel a moment. 

Sir A. — But my first wife was a model of perfec- 
tion, and it is unjust to reproach you with the compa- 
rison. Yet I cannot help siaying — would she had 
lived ! 

Lady C. And I am sure I wish so, with all my 
heart. 

Sir A. {fetching a heavy sigh) But she was sudden - 
denly snatched from me. 

Lady C. How was it, sir Adam ? Were you not at 
sea together ? And so a storm rose— and so you took 
to the long boat — and she would stay in the ship — and 
so she called to you, and you would not go — and you 
called to her, and she would not come. And so youf 
ooat sailed, atid her ship sunk. 



16 WEDDING [Inchbald 

Sir A. Don't, don't — I can't bear to hear it re- 
peated. I loved her too sincerely. But the only proof 
I can now give of my affection, is to be kind to her 
son ; and, as by what he acknowledged to nne, his 
heart 1 perceived was bent upon marriage, I have 
given him leave to introduce to me the lady on whom 
he has fixed his choice — and if I like her — 

Ladij C. Has he fixed his choice? Who is the 
young lady ? What is her name ? 

Sij' A, I did not ask her name. 

Lady C. But I hope you will give your consent, 
whoever she is. 

Sir A. And if I do, in a little time they may both 
wish I had not. Young people are so capricious they 
don't know their own minds half an hour. For in- 
stance, I dare say you think very highly of that 
young lord who was here just now ; but if you were 
to see him two or three times a weeV, you would cease 
to admire him. 

iMdij C. 1 should like to try. Do invite him here 
two or three times a week, on purpose to try. 

enter servant. 

Ser. Mr. and Mrs. Ploughman are come, sir, and 
dinner is almost ready. [^exic 

Lady C. {looking at her hands gix>es a violent 
scream) Oh ! Oh !— Oh dear ! sir Adam— Oh dear I 
Oh dear ! Oh dear ! 

Sir A. What's the matter ? What in the name of 
heaven is the matter ? 

Lady C. I wish I may die if I have not lost my wed- 
ding ring. — Oh ! 'tis a sure sign of some ill luck. 

Sir A. Here, John ! {enter servant) Go and look 
for your mistress's wedding ring; she has dropt it 
somewhere about the house. 

Lady C. I am. afraid it was in the street, as I 
stepp'd out of my coach. Oh ! indeed, sir Adam, it 
did not stick close. 1 remember I pulled my glove 



Act I] DAY. ir 

off just at that time ; go and look there, John, {exit 
servant) Oh ! sir Adam, some ill luck will certainly 
happen to one or both of us : you may depend upon it. 

Sir A. Childish nonsense ! What ill luck can hap- 
pen to us while we are good ? 

Lady C. But suppose we should not be good ? 

Sir A. We always may if we please. 

Lady C. 1 know we may. But then sometimes *tis 
a great deal of trouble. 

Sir A. Come, don't frighten yourself about omens ; 
you'll find your ring again. 

. Lady C. Do you think that young lord mayn't have 
found it ? Suppose we send to ask him ? 

Sir A. Did you miss it while he was here ? 

Lady C. No, nor should not have missed any thing, 
if he had staid till midnight. 

Sir A. {taking her by the hand) Come, come to 
dinner, {going, sto/is) But 1 must say this has been 
a very careless thing of you. My first wife would not 
have lost her wedding ring. 

Lady C. But indeed, sir Adam, mine did not fit. 

lexeune 



ACT IT. 

SCENE I — an afiartmcjit at Mr, Millden's, 
enter lady autumn and Mrs, hamford. 

Mrs. H. My dear lady Autumn, Mr. Contest is not 
of a proper age for a lover, much less for a husband 
of yours. 

Lady A. Mrs. Hamford, I believe, old as you pre- 
tend to think me now, you thought me young but a 
lew weeks ago at Venice ; when, on your first landing 



18 WEDDING [Inchbaid 

there, you imposed upon me your romantic tale, and 
piev'iiled with me to bring you to England. 

Mrs. H. Hold, madarr, do not conclude too has- 
tily, that, because I have for a few days since my 
arrival in my native country, deferred my promise of 
revealir.g to you my real name and my connections 
here, that I am for this reason an impostor. 

Lady A No ; upon recollection, you certainly have " 
beei. living on a savage island for these ten or twelve 
years, which gives you all these Hottentot ideas in 
respect to the advanced age of women. In some 
savage countries women are old at seventeen ; but 
in this enlightened nation we are all young at seventy. 

enter mr. millden. 

Mr. Mil. Lady Autumn, I make no apology for 
entering your apartment thus abruptly, because I 
come with good news— your daughter is married. 

Lady A. Married! What! while I have been 
abroid^ 

Mr. Mil. No doubt — But I cannot give you any 
particulars of the marriage, nor tell you even the 
gentleman's name, for I only passed her guardian by 
accident in his carriage, and 1 had not an opportunity 
to enquire, nor he to inform me farther, than "that it 
■was a most advantageous union for your daughter, 
for that her husband is a man of fortune and title." 

Mrs. Ham. There, lady Autumn ! you find you 
have a daughter old enough to be a wife. 

Lcdy Ji. More shame for her— Why was not my 
consent asked? 

Mr. Mil. You were out of England, and no letters 
reached you. However, your daughter's guardian 
will call upon you in the evening, and explain to you 
every particular. 

Lady A. But now, my dear Mr. Millden, and you 
my dear Mrs. Hamford, don't let this marriage es- 
cape your lips, if Mr. Contest should call this even- 
ng for if my daughter's husband should not, after 



Act II] DAY. 19 

all, be a man of some importance, I should wish to 
keep it a secret from Mr, Contest that I have a 
daughter married. {^exit 

Mr. Mil. Mrs. Hamford, I observe a gloo»-i) upon 
your countenance; I hope no enquiries you have 
made concerning any part of your family since you 
arrived in England — [lie takes her hand] — You trem- 
ble! What's the matter? 

Mrs. H. I tremble till a visit which I am now 
going to make is over; and then, waatever is my 
destiny, I trust in that Power which has supported 
me through numerous trials, to give me resignation. 

[^exeu7it 

scEKE II— ara aftartment at sir ad am contest's* 
enter lady contest^ folloived by her maid. 

Lady C. {fiuUing off her cloak) Has any body cal- 
led on mc, Hannah, since I have been out f 

Han. Yes, madam, an elderly gentlewoman ; but 
she refused to leave her name — she said she had 
particular business, and wanted to speak to you in 
private. 

Lady C. Then pray let me see her when she comes 
again. 

Han. I told her, madam, that you were only gone 
to the milliner's in the next street. 

Lady C. Has any body else called, Hannah ? 

Han. No, ma'am. 

enter a servant. 

Ser. Lord Rakeland, if your ladyship is not en- 
gaged— 

Lady C. {drawing Hannah on one side) Oh ! Han- 
nah, Hannah! is this the elderly gentlewoman ! — Oh ! 
for shame, Hannah! — However, poor Hannah, don't 
be uneasy, I won't be very angry with you. (to the 
servant) You may desire his lordship to waik up. 

^exit servant 



20 WEDDING [Inchbald 

Han. Upon my word, my lady — 

Lady C. Oh, hold your tongue, Hannuh — you 
!fe:now this is the elderly gentlewoman you meant — 
but no matter ; I am almost every bit as well pleased. 

[exit Hannah- 

enter lord rakeland. 

Lord R. My adorable lady Contest — 

Lady C. I hope you are very well — but I need not ! 
ask, for \ou look, channingly. 

Lord R. And you look like a divinity ! I met sir 
Adam this moment in his carriage going out, and 
that emboldened me — 

Ladij C. Yes, sir, he is gone out a little while with 
my guardian ; b'Jt he'll soon be back. I suppose, sir, 
you called to play a hand of cards. 

Lord R. No — my errand was to tell you — I love 
you ; I adore you ; and to plead for your love in re- 
turn. 

Lady C. But that is not in my power to give. 

Lady R. You cannot possibly have given it to sir 
Adam ? 

Lady C. I shan't tell you what I have done with 
it. 

I^ord R. You could love me ; I know you could. 

Lady C. If you were my husiband I would try 
aiid then, perhaps, take all the pains I would, I 
c juld not. 

Lord R. Oh ! that I were your husband ' (kneeling) 

Lady C. You would not kneel so i^'you were. Not 
even on the wedding day. 

Lord R. No, but I would clasp you thus. 

{throiving his arms round her) 

Lady C Oh dear ! Oh dear ! 1 am afraid t.ir Ad- 
am's Hrst wife would not have sufTered tins ! 

Lord R. Why talk of sir Adam f* Oh ! that you 
were insne instead of his! 

Lady C. And would you really marry me, if I 
were single ? 



ActH] PAY. 21 

Lord R. Would I ? — yes — this instant, were you 
unmarried, this instant, with rapture, I would be- 
come your happy bridegroom. 

Lady C. I wonder what sir Adam would say were 
he to hear you talk thus ; he suspected you were in 
love with me at the very first — I can't say I did — I 
suspected nothing — but I have found a great deal. 

Lord R. Nothing to my disadvantage, I hope ? 

Lady C. No — nor any thing that shall be of dis- 
advantage tp sir Adam. 

Lord R. Why are you perpetually talking of your 
husband ? 

Lady C. Because, when I am in your company,* I 
am always thinking of him. 

hord R' Do I make you think of your husband? 

Lady C. Yes — and you make me tremble for him. 

Lord R. Never be unhappy about sir Adam. 

hady C. I won't — and he shall never have cause to 
be unhappy about me — for I'll go lock myself up till 
he comes home, {going'] 

hord R. (holding' her) What are you alarmed at ? 
Is there any thing to terrify you either in my counte- 
nance or address ? — In your presence, I feel myself 
an object of pity, not of terror. 

Lady C. Ay, but this may be all make-believe, like 
the poor little boy in the song. 

^ SONG. 



In the dead of the night, when, with labour opprest, 
All mortals enjoy the calm blessings of ease, 
Cupid knock'd at my window, disturbing- my rest, 
"Who's there ? I demanded — begone, if you please- ' 

II. 

He answered so meekly, so modest, and mild. 
Dear ma'am, it is I, an unfortunate child ; 

c 2 



22 WEDDING [Inchbald 

'Tls a cold rainy night,' I am wet to the skin ; 

I have lost my way, ma'am, so pray let me in. - 

III. 

No sooner from wet and from cold he got ease, 
Than taking- his bow, he cry'd, Ma'am, if you please, 
Ifyou please, ma'am, I would by experiment know 
If the rain has damaged the string of my bow. 



Then away sklpp'd the urchin as brisk as a bee, 
And, laughing, I wish you much joy, ma'am, said he ; 
My bow is undamag'd, for true went the dart. 
But you will have trouble enough Mith your heart. 

[going 
enter servant. 

Scr. A Irtuy, a stranger, who mrs. Hannah says 
your ladvship gave orders should be admitted — 

Ladi/ C. Very true — desire her to walk in — shew 
her up. Icxil servant 

herd R. Who is it? 

iMciy C. 1 don't know — I can't tell — I thought you 
had been her : but I was n»istaken. 

hord R. Will she stay long ? 

Laf/i/ C. I don't know any thing about her. 

Lor^R. Dear lady Contest, do not let uje meet 
her on the stairs ; conceal me somewhere till she is 
gone. Here, I'll go into this dressing-room. 
[fte goes to a door^ ivhich (fads to the next cJiamber'] 

hadi/ C. Then you wiil hear our discourse. 

hord R. No ntatttr ; I will keep it a secret, 

hady C. No, no ; you must go away — out of the 
house. 

hord R. I can't, — I won't— don't expojie yourself 
before the lady. 



Act II] DAY. . 23 

enter mrs. hamford. 

(Jord Rak eland goes into the next roo?n ; but 
stands at the door^ and listens to the conversa- 
lion of the C7isuing scene) 

Mrs. H. {courtseying to lady Contest) I beg 
pardon, madam. 

Ijady C. (courtseying) No apologies, madam. 

Airs. H. 1 am afraid I am not right ! {looking 
round) 

'Lady C. Yes, madam ; pray, are not yoii the lady 
■who called this afternoon and said you had particular 
business ? 

Mrs. H. I am. {looking earnestly at /zer)— and 
are you lady Contest ? 

Lady C. Yes, ma'am. 

Airs. H. Sir Adam's wife ! {in surprize) 

Lady C. Yes, ma'am, Sir Adam's wife — won't you 
please to sit down ? {they sit) 

Airs. H. There is then, lady Contest, a very ma- 
terial circumstance in my life, that I wish to reveal 
to you : and to receive from you advice how to act, 
rather than by confiding in the judgm^ nt of any of 
my own family, be flattered, by their partiality, into 
a blameable system of conduct. Snch is the nature 
of my present errand to you : but, to my great sur- 
prise, I find you so very, very young 

Lady C. Yes, ma'am, thank Heaven. 

Airs. H. You are very happy, I presume ? 

Lady C. {hesitating) Y-e-s, ma'am — yes, very 
hap|)y, ail things considered. 

AJrs. M. I am sorry then to be the messenger of 
news that will, most probably, destroy that happiness 
for ever. 

Lady C. Dear me I what news? You frighten me 
out of my wits ! {rising) 

Airs. H. You are now, lady Contest, newly mar- 
ried; in the height of youth, health, prosperity ; and 



24 WEDDING [Inchbald 

I am the fatal object who, in one moment, may crush 
all those joys ! 

Lady C. Oh ! then pray don't — you'll break my 
heart it you do. What have I done, or what has 
happened to take away from me all my joys! — 
Where's my pocket-handkerchief ? 

{feeling in her pocket) 

Mr8. H. Here, take mine, and compose yourself. 

Lady C. (taking- it) Thank you, ma'am. 

M7's. H. And now, my dear, I will inform you — 
and at the same time flatter myself that you will deal 
frankly with me, and not restrain any of those sensa- 
tions which my tale may cause. 

Lady C. Dear madam, I never conceal any of my 
sensations — I can't if I would. 

Mrs. H. Then what will they be when I tell you 
— I am sir Adam Contest's wife — his wife whom he 
thinks drowned ; but who was preserved and restor- 
ed to life, though not till now restored to my own 
country. 

Lady C. Dear madam, I don't know any body on 
earth I should be happier to see ! (runs to her, em- 
'braces, and hugs her repeatedly.) 

Mrs. H. But consider, my dear, you are no longer 
wife to sir Adam ! 

Lady C. And is that all ? — here, take your hand- 
kerchief again, (returns it to her) And come you 
out of your hiding place; (she goes to (he chamber 
Tjhere Lord Rakeland is — he enters confused, and 
doiving to Mrs. Hamford) come, come, for you need 
no longer conceal yourself now, or be miserable ; for 
I have no longer a husband to prevent my being your 
wife — or to prevent me from loving you — for oh ! oh ! I 
do — (checks herself) though I duist not say so before. 

Mrs H. May 1 enquire who this gentleman is ^ 

Lady C. A poor man that has been dying for love 
of me, even though he thought it a sin. 

Lord R. I beg pardon, and promise never to be 
guilty for the future — I wish you a good evening. 

Igoing 



Act II] DAY. , 25 

Lady C. You are not going away ? 

Lord R. I have an engagement it is impossible to 
postpone — ^Good evening. 

Lady C. But you will soon come back, I hope ? — 
for I suppose you hold your mind to be my husband ? 

Lord R. Alas: that is a happiness above my 
hopes. 

Lady C. Above your hopes ! 

J^ord R. It is. 

Lady C. Then it shall be beneath mine. 

[Jie boivs^ and exit 

Airs, H. And is it possible that you can think of 
parting with sir Adam without the least reluctance ? 

Lady C. PH"ay, madam, when did you see sir Adam 
last ? 

Mrs. H. A.bou fifteen years ago. 

Lady C. He is greatly altered since that time. 

Mrs. H. Still will my affection be the same. 

Lady C. And so it ought ; for he loves you still — 
he is for ever talking of you ; and declares he never 
knew what happiness was since he lost you. Oh ! 
he will be so pleased to change me for you .' 

Mrs. H. I hope you do not flatter me ! 

Lady C. I am sure I don't — I expect him at home 
every minute, and then you'll see ! 

Mrs. H. Excuse me — at present I could not sup- 
port an interview. 1 will' take my leave till / hear 
irom you; and will confide in your artless and in- 
genuous friendship to inform sir Adam of my escape. 

Lflcfz/ C. You may depend upon me, lady Contest. 

Mrs. H. Adieu ! {going) 

hady C. Dear madam, I would insist on waiting 
upon you down stairs ; but I won't stand upon any 
ceremony with you in your own house. 

[^exii Mrs. Hamford 
(as lady Contest is g^ing off at the opposite side^ 

she stops on hearing sir ./^darn's voice without) 

Sir A. Nobody so plagued as I am with servants ! 



WEDDING [Inchbald 



enter sir ad am. 

l^ady C. Bless me ! sir Adam, I did not know, you 
were come home ! 

Sir A. I have been at home this quarter of an 
hour. The coachman has made himself tipsy on the 
joyful occasion of our marriage, and was very near 
dashing out my brains in turning a corner. 

Laf/y C. And is that worth being in such an ill 
temper about ? — Ah ! you would not be so cross, if 
you knew something. 

8ir A. Knew what? — I have a piece of news to 
tell you. 

Lady C. And I have a piece of news to t^U you. 

Sir A. Your mother is arrived in town ; your 
guardian heard so this morning, but he did not men- 
tion it to me till this moment, because he thinks it is 
proper for him to wait upon, and acquaint her with 
our marriage in form, before I throw myself at her 
feet to ask her blessing. 

Lady C. Very well — with all my heart. And now, 
sir Adam, what do you think ? 

Sir A. What do I think ! 

Lady C. What will you give me to tell you some- 
thing that will make you go almost out of your wits 
with joy ? 

Sir A. What do you me«n ? — Have I got another 
estate left me.> 

Lady C. No: something better. 

Sir A. Better than that ! 

Lady C. A great deal better — you will tkink. 

Sir A. (ea^^r/z/)-— Has the county meeting agreed 
to elect me their representative ^ 

Lady C. No. 

Sir A. What! any thing better than that ? 

Lady C. A great deal better than that — and some- 
thing the most surprising! — Guess agam. 

Sir A. Pshaw ! I'll guess no more— I hate such: 



Act IIJ DAY. 27 

teazing — it is unmannerly — would my first wife have 
served one so ? 

hady C. Now you have hit upon it. 

Sir A, Upon what ? 

l^ady C. Your first wife. 

Sir A. Ay, I shall never see her like again i 

Ijady C. No, but you may see her — for she is alive, 
and you nr«ay have her home as soon as you please. 

Sir A. What the deuce does the woman mean ? 

{trembling) 

hady C. Your first wife — escaped in the long boat 
— as surprising a story as Robinson Crusoe ! — I have 
seen her, and she longs to see you. 

Sir A. Why, what do you mean ? — (siill trembling) 
Alive? 

hady C. As much alive as I am. 

Sir A. And what does she intend to do? — {trem- 
bling) — Poor woman ! poor creature ! where does she 
intend to go ? 

hady C. Go ! come home, to be sure. 

Sir A. Home ! — what does she call her home ? 

hady C. You are her home. 

Sir A. 1 her home ! — Come to me ! — What can I 
do with her ? — and what is to become of you ? 

Lady C. Oh ! never mind me. 

Sir A. Yes, but I can't think, to part with you — 
{ready to cry) I can't think to turn a poor young 
creature like you upon the wide world. — Her age will 
secure her; she won't be in half the danger. 

Lady C. Poor soul ! if you knew what she has suf- 
fered — 

Sir A. And have I not suffered too? I am sure I have 
lamented her loss every hour of my life ; you have 
heard me. 

Lady C. And yet you don't seem half so much plea- 
sed at her return as I am. 

Sir A. I cannot help being concerned to think, what 
a melancholy twelve or fourteen years the poor wo- 



2^ WEDDING [Inchbakl 

man has experienced ! most likely upori some desert - 
island, instead of being in heaven ! 

Lady C. But if you are concerned upon her account, 
you ought to be pleased upon your own, my dear — 
(checks herself) I beg your pardon ; I mean sir 
Adam. 

Sir ji. No, no, call me " my dear" — do not shew 
reserve to me already ; for if you do, you v^ill break 
my heart. 

Lady C. I would not break your heart for the world 
^— and indeed, sir Adam — you will always bb dear to 
me — quite as dear when we are parted, dearer than 
if we were living together. 

Sir A. Don't talk of parting — Can you resolve to 
part froa) me ? 

Lady C. Yes, because I know you will be so much 
happier with your first wife. 

Sir A. But if our parting should give you any^uii- 
easiness— r 

Lady C, It won't a bit. 

Sir A. No ! 

Lady C. No, (soothing) — not when I know you are 
with that good, prudent woman, your first wife. 

Sir A. (aside) Now here is a time to exert my 
power over myself: what signifies having exerted it 
in trivial matters, if from a trial such as this I shrinkr* 
—(to her — making many efforts to get rid of his feel- 
ings) — Well, madam, I am prepared to see my first 
wife — and to part with my second. 

Lady C Then sit down and write to her, that you 
long to see her. 

Sir A. No! lean sacrifice all my sensations, but 
I cannot sacrifice truth. 

Lady C. Will you give me leave to write to her a 
kind letter for you, and invite her to come hither di- 
rectly ? 

Sir A. (after a struggle) You may do as you like. 

hady C. Ay, I shan't be with you long, and so you 
may as well let me have my own way while I stay. 



Acinj ■ DAY. -9 

{she 'Tvriles — /le walks almut^ fitarfs, and shews vari- 
ous signs ofiineasijiess durmg the time) 

hadij C. Here they are ; only a few words, but 
very kind ; telling her to " fly to your impatient 
wishes." Here, John, (enter servant) this letter to 
Mr. Millden's immediately, {exit servant) — {she 
goes to sir Jdam)— Come, look pleased ;, consider 
how charming it is for old friends to meet. 

*SVr ji. Yes, if they are not too old. However, fear 
Moll.ing in regard to my conduct, for I w///, I wf//act 
properly — so properly, ihnt I will not trust my own 
judgment ; and the first person I consult shall be 
your moiher, and I'll go to her this instant, (going) 
Sure never such a strange, intricate affair ever ba|> 
pened before! — but strange as it is, I will act as I 
ought to do. My inclination may rebel, but my rea- 
son shall conquer — I will act as I ought to do. 

enter a servant. 

Ser. Lady Autumn and Mr. Contest. 
Sir yi. And iiere your mother comes most oppor- 
tunely. 

enter ?nr. contest and lady autumn. 

Mr. C. Sir Adam, according to ynur permission, I 
l;;ive tjrought the lady on whom 1 have placed my 
affections, to receive from — 

hady C. Oh ! my dear mother, hnw do you do ? — 
(running to lady yiutumn) 

Mr. C. Mother ! Your mother ! 

luady C. Vei — though she looks very well, does 
not she ? 

Mr. C. Tl)is is the lady on whom I have fixed my 
choice. 

Larf)/ C. Wl^.at, on my mamma ! Nay, Mr. Contest, 
now 1 am sure you aie joking — ha, ha, ha, ha — ha, 
ha, ha, ha, — fixed your choice on my mother ! 

Sir A. And sr.v nioihcr ! your father's moiher i— 
13 



so WEDDING [Inchbald 

Why, you are as bad as the man in the farce — fall in 
love with your grandmother ! 

hady C. Dear mamma, don't make yourself un- 
easy, if you have a mind to marry my son ; for there 
is a lady now at Mr. Millden's, and who is coming 
here, that will claim him for he?' son, and make me 
no longer wife to sir Adam. 

hadi/ A. This can be no other than Mrs. Hamford, 
vvhortl 1 brought to England. 

enter mr. millden. 

Mr. M. Mr. Contest, will you step for a moment 
to the person in the next room, {exit Mr. Contest) 
Sir A.dam Contest, I come to inform you, that there 
is a lady in the next room who has been near fainting 
at the sound of your voice. 

Sir A. And I believe I shall faint at the sound of 
hers. 

Mr. M. Her son is supporting her to you. 

€?iter mrs. HAmFORDy leaning on mr. contest. 

Lady C. Dear sir Adam, fly and embrace your 
first wife, {she goes to her) Dear lady Contest, not- 
withstanding his seeming insensibihty, he loves you 
to distraction; a thousand times has he declared to 
me, he did not think there was such a woman in the 
world. 

Sir A. And I did flatter myself, there was not. 

Mrs. H. {seeing sir Adam advance towards her) 
Oh ! sir Adam ! 

Sir A. Oh, my dear ! if you knew what I have suf- 
fered, and what I still suffer on your account, you 
would pity me. 

Lady A. Sir Adam, I give you joy of a wife that 
suits your own age. 

Sir A. And such a one shall my son marry, when 
he has my consent. 

Mrs. H. Come, come, sir Adam and lady Au- 
tumn, these mutual reproaches, for almost the self- 



Act II] DAY. 31 

same fault, ought to convince you, that in your plans 
of wedlock you have both been wrong. 

Sir A. However, it shall be my endeavour to be 
henceforward right : for, after settling upon nny young 
bride a handsonfie dower, 1 will peaceably yield her 
up ; — and, though it is a hard struggle, yet, like all 
other struggles, it will, I have no doubt, give me hap- 
piness in the end. 

Lady* C. (crying till she sobs) Good b'ye, sir 
Adam — good b'ye — I did love you a little, upon my 
word; and if 1 was not sure you were going to be so 
much happier with your first wife, I should never 
know a moment*s peace. 

Sir A. 1 thank you. And at parting, all I have 
to request of you is — that you will not marry again 
till I die. 

Lady C. Indeed, sir Adam, I will not — but then 
you won't make it long ? 

Sir A. I believe I shan't. 

Lady C And my next husband shall be of my 
own age ; but he shall possess, sir Adam, your prin- 
ciples of honour. And then, if my wedding ring 
sliould unhappily sit loose, I will guard it with un- 
wearied discretion : and I will hold it sacred — even 
liiough it should pinch my finger. 



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